How to Win When You Feel Defeated
When you feel discouraged and defeated, it’s tempting just to give up and allow yourself to fall into a downward spiral. You’ve lost your motivation and may want to flee.
However, you’re stronger than that, and you know that this moment of despair is temporary. You’ll be reminded why you do what you do and how you knew that there would be days like this. Defeat still stings and it might for a while. But here are ways that you can win back your drive and dedication to fulfilling your purpose even after a defeat:
Call a Time-Out
Failure can be heartbreaking. And sometimes, the best thing you can do for yourself when you’ve suffered a blow is to pause. Take a break. Step away and take a quiet moment to process your emotions.
Change Your Environment
Your environment goes beyond the physical space you’re in; it also speaks of the people you surround yourself with. And if the people in your “inner circle” are toxic and bring you down instead of lift you up, then maybe it’s time for a change in the company you keep.
Look For What You Did to Contribute to Your Circumstance
There’s wallowing in grief, and there’s getting to the heart of the problem. You may think that what’s done is done and it’s time to move forward. However, to avoid repeating the mistakes of the past, you need to identify what they were.
Think about what you may have done to put yourself in the position you’re in. Evaluating and analyzing the situation is not the same as dwelling on the problem. It’s processing everything that’s happened so that you can take away valuable lessons from it.
Forgive Yourself
Remember how you are feeling at this very moment and make a deal with yourself that you will avoid feeling this way ever again. And once you’ve recognized what your shortcomings were and errors in judgment, forgive yourself.
Surely, you didn’t intentionally fail. Take responsibility for it but stop condemning yourself. When we let go of the blame, guilt, and shame, we give ourselves room to grow and learn.
Accept It
The sooner you accept the defeat, the faster you can create solutions to move on. It’s beyond your control now and what’s done cannot be undone. It can only be made better by moving forward, equipped with new knowledge and experience. Complaining doesn’t find solutions and will ultimately, drive away forward-thinking thoughts.
Re-Vision
Were your goals too high and unrealistic? Maybe it’s time to readjust your vision and aim for something that is more attainable? By no means should you give up on your dreams. But you should break them down into smaller, more realistic goals that are easier to attain. Reward yourself with each milestone and progress to the next step.
Get Back in the Game
Failure is a part of learning. There’s no denying that it’s going to be hard to pick yourself up again after falling but don’t let momentary defeat knock you out for good. Get out of your funk and order your suffering to stop. In its place, fill it with hope and positivity.
Ultimately, the key to winning despite defeat is to not think you’ve lost something; but rather, that you’ve gained and won valuable life lessons. Reclaim your identity and refuse to let this defeat brand you. You are so much more beautifully complex than this one moment in your life.
Dr. Yashima White Azilove
I am an international speaker, certified coach and skilled consultant with over 20 years of corporate brand communications executive experience in the media, entertainment, healthcare and financial service industries. I now use my expertise in brand communications to ELEVATE audiences, corporations, celebrity/talent and faith organizations.